Silent Meditation Retreat: A Natural Path to Self
I retreated to Hridaya Yoga in Longeval to attend a ten-day silent meditation retreat. I had already gone there in March last year to participate in my very first retreat and it had a very strong impact on me in the weeks and months that followed. A deep re-connection that I didn’t imagine was possible after just ten days.
The silent meditation retreat is an immersion in meditative practice, in a calm environment conducive to introspection. For ten days you are in silence, the mirrors are hidden, all sources of entertainment are removed: telephone, internet, music, reading,… only writing is allowed. Any contact with other participants is prohibited, whether by verbal, non-verbal communication or by looking. However, it is possible to communicate with the teachers or the person in charge of the group by asking questions through notes on pieces of paper.
A typical day
The first days, the duration of morning and afternoon meditations is one hour and gradually increases to two or two and a half hours. Before this, different meditation techniques are taught and practiced in short thirty-minute periods.
This is what a day looks like:
6:30 a.m.: Wake up at the bell
7:00 a.m.: Morning meditation
9:00 a.m.: Breakfast
10:00 a.m.: Reading on a theme, Hatha yoga and 30min meditation
1:00 p.m.: Lunch, free time, rest and karma yoga (daily task to be carried out such as sweeping the floor or washing the restaurant tables in order to contribute to the running of the center)
4 p.m.: Afternoon Meditation
6:30 p.m.: Dinner
19:30: Q&A, theme reading and meditation to close the day
22:00: Sleep
The center is quite isolated and surrounded by forests, it is possible to immerse yourself in nature and take air during the breaks which is rather pleasant.
Meditative Metamorphosis
This ten-day period was a significant advance in my meditative practice. I felt like I was going back to where I stopped in March. My meditation sessions ranged from intense depth to lighter moments. Initially, I had many visions, visual manifestations and lucid dreams, but afterwards, I felt my kundalini intensify more. What had begun as a subtle movement coming from the heart in the first few days, turned into an activation shaking my whole upper body and head, often tearing me out of my meditative state. Hridaya adopts a non-dual tantric approach, perceiving energy as a mere manifestation to be welcomed, without seeking to control or suppress it.
This retreat is very different from a vipassana which is very strict and rigid. It’s a completely different approach with different meditation techniques. Vipassana by its rigour allows to transcend the body and reach higher states of consciousness. At Hridaya, we use the method of self-research according to the teachings of Ramana Maharshi with a focus on the heart by asking the question ‘Who am I?’ and thus going to the source of who is that ‘I’.
Keeping quiet and disconnecting from your phone and the Internet can be a cause for concern for many, but in the end, it is a rather natural and simple process. It’s like getting rid of a weight and having more time to be completely immersed in the present moment.
My first time in Dark Room: Black is powerful and intense…
A dark room retreat or retreat in the dark is exactly what it refers to: a prolonged stay alone in a space completely without light. Considered an advanced practice in Tibetan Buddhism, this type of retreat is also used in India in Ayurveda and bears the name of Kaya Kalpa or in the Tao, Mantak Chia has made one of the pillars of these teachings.
The idea of this kind of retirement has been in my head for three years and, frankly, has raised a lot of fears in me. Just six months ago, thinking about it again, I felt some excitement and thought I was ready to jump.
After ten days of silence, I went to a neighboring village where Bérengère, Hridaya yoga teacher, offers this type of retirement. The room is rather large and nice, with a bathroom equipped with a shower, a kitchen corner (the lights from the fridges and the kettle have been removed). The windows and the door are covered with a thick opaque black linen. Not a small ray of light passes. Bérengère shows me the room and explains to me the operation of the trappe where the morning and lunch meals will be laid. I settle down and make sure to visualize several times the room where I would live the next six days.
She suggests that I switch from light to darkness by lighting a flat-heating candle and letting it consume until it goes out. I’m so impatient that just five minutes after turning it on, I blow it on. And there, plunged into total darkness…
Except…
I had the impression very quickly, and this throughout my stay, that it remained like a residue of light that the walls and surfaces had absorbed and that shone in this darkness. Sometimes I was surprised to have the impression of seeing my hands moving in front of me, I even had fun making movements in the face of my face and was convinced that I could see them! Would I have a gift? I doubt… What I deduced from this was that my brain and consciousness were trying to recreate a familiar environment, trying to project a space into the darkness where I was immersed.
My life
The first few days you adapt to your new environment, making tea or eating are activities of your own. Without vision, everything requires much more attention, presence and time. You also sleep a lot! The body and our circadian cycle are regulated by light. In its absence, such as during a retreat in the dark, the production of melatonin increases and the need to sleep as well. After two or three days, one adjusts to the dark and the pineal gland begins to produce DMT (Dimethyltryptamine) which leads to the appearance of visions in the following days.
My ones started pretty quickly, there were a lot of lucid dreams and very light visions, very few colors as if veiled by a grey filter. They usually manifested themselves in the late afternoon and interfered with dreams at night. A lot of nature with fields of trees, grasses, seabed, clouds of the starry sky,… The room also evolved and transformed into large spaces with drapes, flowers of all kinds, and a different configuration that have misled me many times; so much so that I took the walls and corners of tables many times.
At times, I felt my body melted, absorbed by darkness, as if I was nothing more than consciousness, and I felt that energy field that I am, and that sometimes vibrated very intensely.
I organized myself a program of meditation, yoga, sports and stretching but often I did not follow it and I was more connected to my body and what it needed. I started doing tapping, massages and mantra singing, so why? I don’t know, I just listened to my intuition and did what my body wanted at the time. Without an agenda, or obligations, it’s incredible how the return to the body happens in a natural way.
Sometimes I get bored and tell me what I’m going to do with all this time, not finding anything to do to have fun. But those moments only lasted a few minutes and didn’t bother me any more than that.
The shock
In a black room meditation retreat, as in a deep sleep, all objective disappears. You have nothing left. Absolutely nothing…
I understood this in the first hours, and my first night I woke up in shock and panic. One realizes the intensity and depth of darkness only once truly experienced.
Also, in the first moments the anxiety of losing the notion of time arose. It was not until the next day when I cut off the ventilation, the noise of which may be disturbing when one meditates, that I heard the bells of the village church ringing every hour and a half from 7:00 to 22:00. What a relief! But it quickly became an obsession, carefully planning every moment of my day and waiting for the bells. For the first time it was reassuring, but next time I think I’ll get a noise-reducing headset so I can fully immerse myself in the process.
Why We All Should Retire Annually
Because yes, I want to repeat the experiment, for two weeks at the end of 2024.
The fact that I cut off from the world and retire annually brings me a lot in all respects and for me now it is necessary at least once a year. I want to go deeper into this practice in the dark room because for the time being it shook me and set a real hit.
Historically, some religions and spiritual paths recommend their followers to take an annual retreat. For beginners, the dark room is probably not suitable, but any type of retreat is beneficial and can be very transformative.
It is also possible to start with a three- or five-day meditation retreat for people who want to discover or for whom considering ten days seems impossible.
Whatever method you choose, the experience of a meditation retreat plunges you into a state of inner silence, offering a great opportunity to connect with yourself and explore the depths of the mind.
If you’re still here, thank you for reading to the end! Do not hesitate to share a comment or tell your story if you have experienced one yourself.
